4 Pros and Cons to Personality Tests

I’m a pretty big fan of personality tests and types. Same thing with the Five Love Languages. (Which, I mean, if you’ve been around Noveltea for any length of time you’ve probably figured that out.) Today, I’m going to talk about four reasons I think they can be an incredibly useful tool in your life, as well as four things to keep an eye out for when you start studying them.

Today I’m going to give a pro and a con together, explaining how you can use, or misuse, the beauty of understanding personalities.

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  1. Pro: Building a framework to understand people better
    Con: Putting people into boxes 
    When you’re learning about personalities it can be incredibly fun and helpful to try and figure out the personalities of the people you’re around every day. That co-worker you never quite understood? Well, now that you understand the differences between you and Personality X, you can clearly see that all the times you were annoyed at her were simply small misunderstandings.
    Yet, at the same time, if you’re not careful, you can begin boxing people in and seeing them as a personality instead of a multi-faceted human. This is something nobody appreciates.
  2.  Pro: Discovering your strengths and weaknesses
    Con: Using your personality as an excuse 
    When you learn more about who you are and what inspires you, frustrates you, and makes you tick, it can help you be more productive, happy, and balanced. Yet, at the same time, it’s important to guard against thoughts of Oh, this issue in life is just part of who I am. I can’t help it.
    For instance, with Enneagram type threes, one of their common failings is to frame themselves as being more successful than they actually are. This is something I often find myself wanting to do, and acknowledging that it’s a personality trait, but a bad one, is helpful for me to remember not to do it.
  3. Pro: Having a better grasp of humanity
    Con: Misusing your knowledge
    There is nothing like learning about personalities to suddenly make the world around you look a little clearer. (And, if you’re reading this post with a skeptical roll of the eyes, then you might have one of those personalities that don’t like personality tests – because yes, that’s a real thing too.) It’s a fantastic feeling when you suddenly realize you can figure out how to relate to the people around you… Just, you also have to make sure you don’t cross the line from using your knowledge as a tool for everyone’s benefit to manipulating people. Because manipulation is not okay.
  4. Pro: The beauty of an instant conversation starter
    Con: Annoying people around you
    Enneagram numbers, personality types, Myers-Briggs tests, the Five Love Languages… They’re all great ways to get to know people, make small talk (that isn’t quite so small), and learn more about the people you encounter in everyday life. Yet, if you’re not careful than some people might look at you askance instead of realizing that you just opened their eyes to one of life’s greatest tools. So, be careful until you find another personality fanatic. 😉

Are you into personality tests? If so, what are your favorite ones? And, what’s your personality? If not, then you should totally look into them. 🙂

God Speaks Your Love Language (Which is Pretty Epic)

This wasn’t the post I was intending to write when I stepped on the treadmill this morning, but then as I was replying to comments someone was asking a question about this book and when I skimmed through my posts to find my review… Well, apparently I haven’t written a review yet. And folks, this is an amazing book, so I put my other posts on hold, whipped on my review cap, and here I am.

I would give what I’m trying to become the normal type of review – ya know, the  “pros vs. cons” – only, this book is too heavy on the pros and low on the cons that the aforementioned approach won’t work. 😉

FIRST OFF, SOME STATS:

Find the book on: Amazon and Goodreads
Pages: 208
Publisher: Northfield Publishing
Release Date: September 4, 2018
Title: God Speaks Your Love Langauge
Nonfiction

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ABOUT THE BOOK

Feel God’s love more personally.

Do you realize that the God of the universe speaks your love language, and your expressions of love for Him are shaped by your love language? Learn how you can give and receive God’s love through the five love languages: words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.

Gary Chapman writes, “As we respond to the love of God and begin to identify the variety of languages He uses to speak to us, we soon learn to speak those languages ourselves. Whatever love language you prefer, may you find ever deeper satisfaction in using that language in your relationship with God and with other people.”

The book includes a brand new chapter on “Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone” which will teach you the joys of speaking a love language you’re not used to with God.

No matter what love language you prefer, you will become more deeply connected with God and watch this bond transform all of your relationships.

WHY I CHOOSE THIS BOOK

This is literally a book I wanted to write. In fact, at one point in time (before this book was published) I even started researching and taking notes for this book. That’s because I think it’s a really important book. So, when I saw it was published and that the publisher was willing to send me a copy to review, I jumped at the chance. (Although to clarify, this is one of those books I totally would have bought if I wasn’t sent one for free.)

WHAT I THOUGHT ABOUT THIS BOOK

I think so highly of this author that I didn’t think it was possible, but he actually succeeded my expectations. Yeah, it was that good.

If y’all have been around long at all you’ve probably heard how learning about the 5 Love Languages changed my life when I was in my teens. Since then I’ve read multiple editions of the books, told hundreds of people about them, and taken the test many times. Still, this book presented me with new information, giving me several great “ah-ha” moments where my life was brought into a clearer focus.

For instance, one of my top love languages is touch. I also like to dance at church. And people at my church don’t exactly dance, so as you can imagine, I’ve sometimes pondered why I do dance? Well, as it turns out, there’s a correlation between having touch as one of your primary love languages and dancing, etc… while worshiping. I would have never guessed, but it made so much sense to me. Pretty cool, right?

This book does a great job of providing a quick but good foundation as to what the love languages are, how they fit into everyday life and then showing how God speaks everyone of the love languages – which is totally wonderful. The author points out that God created languages in the first place, and He also created us to respond to certain love languages, so it makes sense that He also speaks all the love languages.

Learning about you might relate to God differently than those around you can be very helpful in helping you to stop feeling less spiritual, or maybe judging someone else as being less spiritual. It can also give you a greater understanding of how you can learn to know God on a deeper level.

The book is also super easy to read (as with all of this author’s writings), interesting and gives the most practical of tips of how to make your life more balanced.

CONCLUSION

I highly recommend this book. There might have been a thing or two that I don’t fully agree with, but as I’m writing this review only glowing positives come to mind. Y’all should read it. (And yes, it can be read even without having read any of the other love language books.)

RATING

I’m giving God Speaks Your Love Language five out of five stars and super duper highly recommend it. Also, thank you so much to the publisher for giving me a copy so I could review it and share with y’all.

Currently
Setting: On the treadmill
Listening to: An instrumental playlist on Spotify 

Question of the Day: Do you know what your love language is? 

Book Review Time! {Books by Gary Chapman}

The Five Love Languages: Singles Edition

By: Gary Chapman and Chris Fabry

Find it on:

Amazon

Goodreads 

First Person • NonFiction • Narrative Style • 248 Pages

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About the Book (Backcover Blurb):

The five love languages work for everyone (they’re not just for married couples)… In this world we’re surrounded by more people than ever–yet we often still feel alone. Being single or married has nothing to do with whether you need to feel loved! Everyone has a God-given yearning for complete and unconditional love in the context of all relationships. If you want to give and receive love most effectively, you’ve got to learn to speak the right love language. Different people with different personalities express love in different ways. In fact, there are five very specific languages of love: Words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, quality time, and physical touch. Dr. Gary Chapman’s original bestseller was first crafted with married couples in mind, but the love languages have proven themselves to be universal. The message of this audiobook is now tailored to meet the unique and real desires of single adults.

Why I Choose this Book:

I was first introduced to the 5 Love Languages about six or seven years ago when I was in my late teens, and my world was literally changed. Around that time I read one of the 5 Love Languages books, but I’m not sure what edition. I figured it was time to do a refresher course, hence the reason for requesting this book.

What I Thought about this Book:

If I hadn’t already known about the 5 Love Languages and a lot of the material in this book, I think I would have had millions of light bulb moments going off. This book is a treasury of so much helpful information and explanations and logic that it’s crazy.

For those of you who don’t know, the 5 Love Languages are 1) Words of Affirmation 2) Physical Touch 3) Quality Time 4) Acts of Service and 5) Gifts. These are the five primary way that people give and receive love. It’s amazing how much sense this makes after you’ve studied it for a bit. Then pieces start falling into place, and the relationships you have can be greatly enhanced just by learning how to speak other people’s primary love languages.

I was a bit surprised how much of the book focused on the romantic side of the love languages (how to treat someone you’re dating, etc…), but I’m not saying that’s a bad thing. I’ve just found the love languages work incredible well for everyone – including family, friends, and even somewhat distant friendships such as co-workers. The book does go into how to apply the love languages to all the above situations, just not to the extreme that I had imagined it would.

If you ever feel like you’re not connecting with people well – especially those who you should have a good relationship with, such as family members, then this book will most likely revolutionize your relationships. It is so eye opening and practical. I’m incredibly thankful to have learned how to relate to people better.

Conclusion:

There were a few places with a bit of content that I wouldn’t be okay giving to children, but that’s perfectly fine, because it wasn’t written for children. (For instance on the chapter about physical touch being one of the love languages, they talk briefly about abuse. But, they handle everything in a way that I found very appropriate.)

I don’t agree with everything that’s in the book, but for the most part the information is incredibly helpful and totally spot-on. I highly recommend the book.

Rating: 

I’m giving The Five Love Languages: Singles Edition 5 out of 5 stars, and 10 out of 10.

*I received this book from Moody Press

• • •

Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Became Parents

By: Gary Chapman and Shannon Warden

Find it on:

Amazon

Goodreads 

First Person • NonFiction • Two Points of View • 208 Pages

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About the Book (Backcover Blurb):

Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Became Parents has one goal: prepare you to raise young children.

Dr. Gary Chapman—longtime relationship expert and author of the #1 New York Times bestseller The 5 Love Languages—teams up with Dr. Shannon Warden—professor of counseling, wife, and mother of three—to give young parents a book that is practical, informed, and enjoyable.

Together they share what they wished they had known beforehaving kids. For example: children affect your time, your money, and your marriage—and that’s just the beginning. With warmth and humor they offer practical advice on everything from potty training to scheduling, apologizing to your child, and keeping your marriage strong… all the while celebrating the great joy that children bring.

Why I Choose this Book:

I had several reasons for choosing this book. 1) I like the author. 2) I find it intriguing to find out why people – particularly parents – do the things they do. 3) I figured that since I’m not a parent yet, this would be the perfect time to read the book.

What I Thought about this Book:

My first thoughts were that I should have payed closer attention to the “We” in the title – because I’m fairy certain this book was written mainly for couples who haven’t had children yet; not single people who haven’t had children yet. Still, I enjoyed reading through the book, and I’m glad I got it.

My second thoughts were that I have been extremely blessed to grow up around a bunch of younger siblings, nieces, nephews, and cousins. This book contained a lot of helpful information, but in reality I knew basically all of it. (Hopefully that doesn’t sound stuck up, because that’s not what I mean at all!) When I finished the book I realized there were probably only a couple of sentences that contained information that was new to me. Therefore, the book wasn’t extremely interesting to read. But! I can only imagine how helpful and interesting and enlightening it would be for people who haven’t been surrounded by children all of their lives.

The book goes through important things like how having children changes your entire life, how children are expensive, unique, need boundaries, are influenced by their parents, etc… The book also talks about how important it is to help your children grow emotionally, socially, and mentally. Overall the book is very practical and easy to read.

Conclusion:

I would recommend this book to couples who are wanting to have children, and yet haven’t spent a lot of time around kids. I have a feeling it would be very enlightening for them.

Rating: 

I’m giving Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Became Parents 4 out of 5 stars, and 7 out of 10.

*I received this book from Moody Press