The Change of Expectations

When I went back home to Ohio for two weeks this month I gleefully took my computer along – I was going to be back in my old routine and of course, that meant blogging regularly.

Instead, the only time my loyal little laptop saw the light of day was when I had a recipe to look up (I was cooking at the retreat where I used to work), and one night I looked up some YouTube clips to show a friend.

There’s been a reoccurring theme in my life recently, and that theme came to play in a big way this month.

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See, I’ve been learning how to be versatile and change my expectations. 

Picture someone who has expectations. Then multiple those expectations by a lot, combine them with a good imagination, and throw in a simulator that can come up with a dozen variations to said expectations…and you have me.

It’s not that I have a particular way I want everything done (although that might be true), it’s more that I don’t like being mentally unprepared. The quickest way to throw me off track is to make me think I’m living a routine day, then jerk the routine out of the equation. If I’m going someplace strange, doing something different, or learning a new skillset, my brain pleads with me to ask for as much information regarding the situation as possible.

And that’s not bad. In fact, I find it very helpful and will probably continue doing it all my life. What is bad, is when I cease to function properly if I haven’t been able to garner the sought after information. Or, even worse, when I have a whole library of scenarios stacked neatly in the cubicles of my brain, only to discover that I’m not only in a different genre but also on the wrong shelf.

But that’s life.

Spontaneous isn’t a word people would use to describe me, and unfortunately, neither is laidback. But both those qualities are good. They don’t need to become part of my identity (which is good), but they are traits I’m working on developing – a little bit at a time, while giving myself a lot of grace. And by doing a lot of mental preparation. (Yes, it’s true. I mentally prepare to be spontaneous. Laugh if you want, it is rather amusing.)

In 33 minutes I get to scurry off to work get a full day of training for something I’ve never done before. And yes, it is a bit overwhelming. I spent yesterday asking questions about what I’ll be doing and exactly what’s expected of me. One of my coworkers did the training earlier this week and I kinda cornered him as he was leaving work yesterday and asked him everything I could think of about what to expect. I felt a lot better after that.

And now, it’s out of my hands. I’ve prepared as much as I can, and it’s gonna be fine. It will be a good day, and I’m actually starting to get excited about all I get to learn. Because today, my expectations have been set at the go with the flow and learn as you go level.

Now I’ve got to hurry and get ready for the day, so, so long, folks!

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