Anticipation. It’s one of those things about life that I enjoy the most. Looking forward to something special is seriously one of my favorite things in the world.
I live in the moment – really, I do – but looking forward to something exciting in the future often enhances those moments and makes them feel more vibrant and whimsical. When Christmas finally arrives each year it’s nearly sad because then I don’t get to anticipate it anymore. So I find more things to get excited about: New Years, my mom’s birthday, accomplishing new goals, and the list goes on.
In 2014 ago I was blessed to travel a lot. I went to Nashville with my adopted parents and had barely gotten back from that when I left with one of my brother’s to stay with some friends in Indonesia for a month, and eight days after getting home from that, I left for a month-long road trip across Europe. There were other trips before and after, but it was during those three trips when I realized my ability to 100% enjoy the present while 100% being giddy about the future.
Since then I’ve danced through ups and downs of life, holding on to what is happening at the moment while nearly bursting with what is going to happen in the future.
Currently, my anticipation levels are sky-high. I’ve had two restless nights of sleep that leave me tired and quite amused. At work, I’ve taken to letting my phone sit out so I can check every so often to see if I have a certain text. (Normally I put my phone up and don’t look at it at all during work hours – and I still don’t do anything on it except check for the text.) I find myself easily distracted. I wander around musing about names. I have to remind myself to focus, focus, focus. And pray. Of course pray.
Why? You may ask. See, my best friend is due to have her baby any day now.
Yes, I know. You’d think I was the one having the baby with how involved I feel. This last week has made me laugh at myself as I wonder what it will be like when I’m actually the mother. I shouldn’t be the one losing sleep – but my happily anticipatory mind doesn’t care. I shouldn’t be the one dreaming about names – but it’s quite amusing to see the combinations my brain comes up with. I shouldn’t be the one who has to remind herself to complete each task in front of her – but hey, I am the one, because, folks, this is exciting.
Do you know what I’ve realized though? Being excited – looking forward to and celebrating the little things – makes life so much richer. Yes, if I worked hard enough I could probably shut down most of my excitement. Yes, if I really wanted to I could stop anticipating things so whole-heartedly. But I don’t want to. I want to embrace the joys that float around me, and grab on to the brightness of life. I want to hold fast and celebrate and feel delight sparkle through me.
It’s not just big things like a baby being born, either. When I get a letter in the mail I generally wait for at least a few hours to open it so I can savor the knowledge that I have a letter awaiting me. When I decide to splurge and eat a special treat I sometimes decide days in advance so I can look forward to it and make it an event. When I have a goal I’m about to finish I make plans in my head – however small – about how I can celebrate.
Anticipation. It’s one of my favorite things in the world.
And now I’m off to find sparkly socks to wear to work, cause nothing says “I’m excited about this new baby coming” like wearing sparkly socks.