My writing process generally looks something like this:

1. Muse over a story idea for endless hours while cutting grass, cooking, driving, sleeping (or trying to, anyway), walking, brushing teeth, reading other books, and pretty much anything else that involves breathing
2. Sit down to write it, then freak out because I remember that plots are delightfully confusing things to put on to paper (Because apparently saying “And then the main character somehow solves the mystery and is heralded by her brothers as being brilliant” isn’t considered a proper plotline)
3. Frantically pull out my plot-writing books, read them, then Google “how to write a plot for ___________ type of book.” Make decaf coffee to sip (aka gulp) while reading (aka zoning out and eyes glazing over) the articles that pop up
4. Realize that the step I’m really supposed to be on is Brainstorming
5. Light my candle, then chew the matchstick to splinters as I jot down bunches of random ideas (on computer and paper, cause I’m amazing like that)
   
6. Decide to have a go at the plot again – this time following Angela Hunt’s The Plot Skeleton (for simplicities sake). Because I’m cool, I use my small whiteboard to jot down the various elements of what the plot’s supposed to look like
   
7. Begin plotting like a pro, and maybe do a happy dance when I come up with the perfect villain
8. Discover the bottom of my coffee cup looks like the sediment of a swamp, and that the texture of coffee grounds is actually enjoyable to chew, although I do begin to wonder about my coffee making skills
9. Realize that you need to brainstorm some more, and cutting grass is legit the perfect place to brainstorm. Sigh over the fact that you’ve already cut a lot of the grass, but head out anyway, scrap paper and pen in hand
10. Get great ideas, return to the writing table raring to go… to Pinterest where I find the perfect picture for each of my main characters (and maybe some of the non-main-characters, too – we really don’t want to leave anyone out)
11. Type out several more plot points, then the perfect opening line pops into my mind, so I slip over and begin writing the actual book #finally #yay #LookIReallyAmAWriter
12. Get so excited about being a pro at this whole writing business that I decide to tweet a pic of my writing setup. Only, after I take the picture I freak out because as it turns out, my writing table is a grand disaster
    
13. Spend ten minutes frantically cleaning my writing table (which mostly involves stacking everything just out of the camera’s view), looking through my camera every two minutes to see what else needs to be moved. (Optional: Add stars and rays of light to the picture to make it look like something utterly amazing)
    
14. Take picture, get two likes, feel like a legit pro
15. Realize it’s time to go make supper, consider taking my computer with me since I’m in such a good writing rhythm
16. Write frantically for twenty minutes after supper and text a couple of friends about the great progress I’ve made
17. Fall into bed (well, I actually sleep on the floor, but saying “fall onto the floor” just doesn’t have the same ring to it), ready to begin the process all over again the next day

And there you have it, folks. A fool-proof way to write a fantastic book.