Oh my word. I just had this crazy feeling. I totally forgot we were in December. I totally forgot we were so close to the end of the year. Then, I looked and I’m like “This is the 50th Friday of the year, how can that be? Aren’t there only 52 weeks in the year?” So, I looked up how many Fridays there are in 2014, and it says52, so I’m thinking “How did I mess up on my count? How can that be?” Then I glanced at the top of my computer and it says “Thu Dec 11” (I’m writing this the night before) and I realize that WAIT A SECOND, it is almost the end of the year! and that feels really crazy.
Ok, that was an Aidyl Moment for yall. 🙂
Today, folks, I’m happy to present you with the 50th segment of my fictional story, When Life Hands You Lymes…
Wow. Can you believe it? I’m actually emailing you instead of flooding you with text messages. I’m a pretty good little sister, right? Well, I try to be. I mean, I figured that since it’s after 2:00 am there (which, by the way, means it’s after 5:00 here and yeah, I’ve gotten like an hour of sleep), than you might be trying to sleep and text messages wouldn’t be welcome. (I know, I know, total run-on sentence there, but I figured you wouldn’t mind it like Mrs. Kame does.)
So, today (ahem, yesterday, I guess) was a pretty good day for me. I didn’t have much sleep, but I felt bright and chipper and in great spirits. I got a lot of practice time in and that of course made me even happier. I’m working on a rather difficult piece for the Ashburg Symphony but it’s fun, too. It’s a rhythm that I’m not used to but I think I’ve gotten it down pretty well. I’ve even found myself humming and tapping my fingers to it recently which I guess is a good sign.
Katie helped out with a kids “back to school” bash thingie last week. It was pretty fun seeing her all dressed up in a very un-Katie like manner. It was the highlight of my day, which just goes to show you that I wasn’t having the best of days or else I’ve gotten really shallow. 😉
As I’m writing this I’m listening to an amazing CD that Darrick just got for me. It has a lot of praise and worship music, but not the fluffy stuff that you normally here. These songs are deep and encouraging.
Everyone else in the family is still asleep although they’ll probably be getting up soon. I was able to sleep from around 2:00 until 3:00, but other than that I’ve been up all night. I really don’t know what’s going on with me but it’s kinda scary. I’ve never heard of thyroid problems making it so someone can’t sleep, but of course I’ve never studied anything even remotely related to anything medical.
Do you want to know the real and honest truth? Well, here it goes: I’m freaked out by everything right now. I don’t know why I feel like this. I don’t know how I got this way. I don’t know how to change. I feel so helpless and out of control. It’s like my body is taking over and I can’t do anything to stop it. I’ve really been struggling recently to keep a positive mindset and to focus on the good things in life. At times I am a grumpy grouch who doesn’t show any appreciation for the many blessings in my life. Well, ok, sometimes I forget I even have blessings. All I can see is the huge mountain in front of me that I have no clue how to get over. Just looking at it feels me with so much dread and completely and utterly overwhelmed me.
See, that ^ is so unlike cheery little (ok, not so little) me that I’m not even sure what to think. I’m used to being the life of the party, the bright spot, the optimistic girl that everyone loves. And I’m changing. I have to keep reminding myself to focus on God. To remember that He does have a plan. That He still loves me. That I can find my strength in Him.
Jason, please pray for me. I’m scared.
I love you, bro!