Here’s the next part in my exciting and perilous journey! If you knew how busy I am today, you’d be thanking me for remembering y’all and getting this posted before rushing off to work. I do it because I like ya’ll so much! =) Actually, I had already written it, but adding pictures and posting it and all… yeah, I’m in a rambling mood today, so I’ll stop before I completely ramble your head off. I’m nice like that. And by the way, I love your feedback about the story!
By the time we left Oahu for Maui, we had done everything we could do and had a sample book printed out (just on paper, nice looking paper though) and on the desks of the final decision makers. You would think that would make me feel better, right? I mean now I didn’t have to worry about it any more. Actually, it maybe might have just made it worse. Because now I felt like I couldn’t do anything to make it go faster. I was just waiting. And waiting is hard. Really, really hard.
I went back and forth between just wanting to hear, thinking that bad news was better then no news, and then I would be like “No, cause at least until I hear for sure, I can imagine the best”. So yeah, it was a very back and forth time for me. All during this time I had told my adopted parents that if they got ANY news to please let me know right away so I could hear about it as soon as possible. Therefore I was receiving more texts in the middle of the night (morning their time), giving me little updates. I would read the updates, smile and ask a few questions. They would answer a few questions, then tell me “go back to sleep now” and the conversation would be over. I could always get right back to sleep. And I always left my sound on when I went to bed, just so I wouldn’t miss a text.
I would ask my adopted dad after he talked with different people what percentage of a chance he thought we had with getting the book published. It started out around 50%, then moved up slowly to 60%. Finally he gave me an 80% and I could just about hear the angels singing when we reached 90%. And then it held.
I was exhausted during this time. The emotional strain and such just took all the energy out of me and I had to rest a lot. I was still having a great time, and I was really at the place where I thought “Whatever happens, happens. God has great plans for this book and He know’s whats best.” But just not knowing, just waiting was hard.
And then came the day when I was suddenly like “I don’t want to hear bad news! I’d rather go on just thinking it could happen, then to have my hope dashed.” And so I was happy that I didn’t hear anything.
Then a little before five the next morning I awoke to get a drink. I turned on my phone so I could see what time it was, and there…. There was a text. Sent about an hour earlier. Six simple words. Six of the most beautiful words I had ever read. They’re going to do the book. (Actually the grammar was messed up, autocorrect has a habit of messing up stuff.) And the text had been sent an hour earlier! Somehow, for the first time I had turned off my sound before going to bed! UGGG!
I think I was probably shaking as I quickly texted them back and asked if I could call them (they were at the Museum, so I didn’t know if they were in a meeting or just back in their office). While waiting for a reply I threw on the first clothes I could find, praising God all this time that I was alone (except for my sleeping sister). I had really, really wanted to hear the news, whatever it was, when I was alone.
Oh my goodness, God. Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness God! Oh my goodness! These words were repeated for about five minutes without a break. They are, in a speechless way, me thanking my heavenly Father for His amazing help.
Even before I received a text telling me that yes, I could call, I was rushing through the halls of the hotel (which was big) and out on the sidewalk that lead down to the beach. Then I got the text saying I could call them. I was literally giddy as I hurried down the pathway with my flipflops making a slap-slap sound on the concrete in the mostly still and people-free early morning. I’m not sure what I said when they answered the phone, but I’m pretty sure it was more of “oh my goodness!” because really, my vocabulary seemed to have shrunk dramatically.
|The sunrise I watched as I talked on the phone
My adopted dad answered the phone, but then put it on speakerphone so both he and my adopted mom could be talking with me at the same time. Or maybe they just both wanted to hear their daughter gushing on and on with a breathlessly excited voice. Yeah, I’m thinking that pretty much describes how I sounded. Plus I was laughing. Laughing and giggling. All of you who have had huge dreams come true after working on them for years and years know how amazing this feels. Ok, well, maybe you don’t if you’re not an overly-dramatic person. While I agree that drama can be bad a lot of the time, it can also make life seem so much crazy-better when something good is going on.
By the time I got down to the beach, I just wanted to sit there and hear all about what was going on while drinking in the beautiful view and watching the huge waves crashing just several feet from me, all the while being alone. For some reason it was really important to me to be able to hold on to them moments alone. With no one I knew around me. Of course I was talking on the phone, but that was to my adopted parents, my co-authors, so it was fine. I’m not sure why, but when something amazing is going on, I just need to process it before I can share.
So we talked, and talked and well, talked some more. I’m not sure how long it was altogether, but it was somewhere between an hour and a half and two hours. I got to watch the sunrise, which wasn’t actually that spectacular on that particular day.
And then dad said something about them having a meeting right at that time to decide some stuff about the book. Yeah, of course right away my mind began spinning “What? So, do you mean that perhaps they won’t do the book after all?” It was actually kinda funny, because all during the months leading up to this day I had been all positive about it, talking about it as if they were going to publish it and Dad (adopted dad) was always telling me to be cautious because there was a good chance that it wouldn’t happen. And now he was saying it would happen and I’m saying “Are you sure?” I really was, um, not scared, but I can’t think of a better word, that I would get my hopes up and tell everyone about it and then it would’t work. But he assured me it would. Only, he wasn’t sure if it would be done on time. But he said they were going to publish it. I said I would only feel rested once I held the book in my hands. After a little bit more talking (and as time wore on) I did regain some faith, but there’s still been this little twinge in me that says “I need to hold it”.
I asked dad if we could pray for the meeting that he said was going on right then and he said yes, so we did and I felt a tid bit better.
|After the sun had risen
Alright, so after talking for a couple of hours with the sun rising and the waves breaking and the sun heating up and everything just being so beautiful, I headed back to the hotel and to reality (Yes, I know that a hotel by the beach in Hawaii doesn’t seem like reality, but it actually was coming down from quite a high cloud to go back there). I wasn’t sure what I should do. Should I go up and tell my parents? Should I just shout the news from the mountain tops? Blog about it? Actually, other then letting my parents know about it, I didn’t feel like telling anyone. It was too precious. I just wanted to hug the news close to me and rejoice by myself for a little bit.
|One of the most exciting mornings/moments of my life